The ‘Cone of Shame’

I have been dreading today. I’m sure if Gizmo knew what lay in store for him today, he would be dreading it too!? Today was the day that two parts of his anatomy were to be surgically removed by the Vet…

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From 8pm last night, he has been allowed water only, and let me tell you, this did not go down well with this greedy kitty, especially when he woke me up at the usual time of 5am expecting to be fed (and of course, its my one day off, so I did not get out of bed when Giz demanded!). He was not impressed by this, and after his numerous attempts to get me out of bed failed, he jumped off my bed, probably muttering several expletives under his breath.

When I did get up, I made myself a coffee and Giz followed me round the kitchen, trying to get me to follow him to the empty space where his feed bowl should be. When this didn’t get the response he wanted, he jumped on the worktop next to his feed, and meowed at me. I think he was trying to remind me where his feed is, as I had clearly forgotten. However when this also failed to get his desired response, he meowed pretty much non stop for the next 10 minutes. Well, when I say he meowed, its actually more of a high pitched squeak than an actual meow. He has several different meow noises, but each of them are quite high pitched, and not at all masculine. I will be interested to if his voice changes after his little procedure today!? Only time will tell…

I emerged with the dreaded cat carrier at 7.40am, and the look of dread on Giz’z face was pretty clear. After a bit of coaxing and distraction, I got him in the box and off we went. We arrived at the Vets at 8am, and the lovely nurses made a fuss of him, and I signed his life away on the consent form. Giz would be in for surgery first thing this morning, so I should be able to collect him at lunchtime, all being well.

As promised, I got a call to say that he was ready for collection just before lunchtime. I went in to collect him and the nurses said how good he has been. Before we left the practice, the nurses gave me some aftercare instructions that have proved challenging…

Firstly, “…his physical activity should be limited for 24 hours; he shouldn’t be allowed to jump on furniture, or climb anything…” Yeah, as if that’s possible with Giz!? This is the kitty that spends the majority of his time climbing, jumping on things and generally causing mischief. As I don’t have a large crate to put him in, the only thing I can do is limit him to one room of the house; the living room is probably the safest option I think.

Secondly, the wound should remain clean but if he persistently licks the afflicted area, then I am to put on the ‘buster collar’ (or Cone of Shame, as I call it). Well, after I released Giz from the dreaded cat carrier when we arrived home, he immediately started paying his hindquarters more attention than he should. As he seemed intent on licking his back legs (and everything inbetween), I decided to put on the Cone of Shame, just to be safe. I was slightly concerned that Giz would get a bit of a shock when he glanced between his legs and realised that not only is he now several kgs lighter, but this was the reason that he is now walking like a feline version of John Wayne?!

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The nurse also told me that the anaesthetic contained a few drugs, including ketamine, so if Giz appeared a bit woozy or ‘spaced out’ this was normal and would wear off over time. So, as Giz staggered round the living room, in his ketamine infused state, wearing his Cone of Shame and bashing into every chair, table leg and sofa, I felt like the worst (and most hated) owner in the world. His co-ordination resembled a very drunk teenager, emerging from a rubbish house party after drinking way too much, feeling quite sick and leaning on every object he came into contact with to prevent a face-floor collision.

As this afternoon has progressed, the effects of the drugs are wearing off. Despite several attempts to remove the Cone of Shame with all four paws at the same time, Giz was relieved to discover that his tail is still attached, but he is still unable to catch it… He spent several minutes rolling around on the floor, alternating between trying desperately to remove the collar with all four paws, and also catch that pesky tail that keeps taunting him. Neither of his goals were achieved, so his frustration continues.

Giz seems to be taking advantage of this lack of balance, and is trying to dislodge his Cone of Shame at every opportunity… He almost succeeded at one stage, but luckily I spotted him and caught him mid-collar-removal and I put it back on, and received another death stare for my trouble. The looks he has given me in the past two hours make me think that if looks could kill, my life is currently at high risk…

He looks thoroughly fed up with his life right now, as he lies on the back of the chair, staring quietly at the floor. He isn’t even interested in bird watching this afternoon, which is very unusual for him. I’m sorry Giz, it was for your own good, and soon you can look forward to venturing outdoors and putting your hunting skills into practice…IMG_20160324_143348346

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4 thoughts on “The ‘Cone of Shame’

  1. Jimmy says:

    I truly love your website.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you create
    this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my
    own blog and want to know where you got this from or
    just what the theme is named. Kudos!

    Like

  2. lifewithwhimsyblog says:

    Don’t you just feel like the worst person ever! And that look they give you! My wee girl even enlisted the help of her best buddy Dora (my Bichon) in pulling it off twice!

    Like

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